


Christmas In New York

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Future, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-22
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:39:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12081237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: This takes place a couple of months after Justin left to go to New York.





	Christmas In New York

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: I wasn't quite happy with the way things ended on the show. So this is my take on how things might've happened when justin left.   


* * *

It’s going to be the first Christmas I’m going to spend without him or my family or our friends. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to survive this. But then again I said the same thing when I came to New York and left him and everyone else for my dream and I have managed to survive it somehow. 

The first week was cruel torture. I craved his kisses, his caresses, his scent, his cock, his blowjobs, the way his long body pulled me tightly to him after we’d fucked. I saw him everywhere for that first week, heard his voice calling my name and I would call him just to hear his voice he would answer and know it was me and say “Justin, what the fuck are waking me up for go back to sleep you have a show tomorrow.” 

He always worried about me pushed me to be the best. I know that to some extent being in New York is his doing. A couple of months have passed and I still miss him but it’s not as painful as it was that first week because now whenever I think about him I focus on my art. 

Sure I go out but it’s not the same without him it’s as if I’m a shell of myself and he holds my true self. Maybe I should call him when I get to my apartment. This painting is almost done and it should be ready for the art show the week before Christmas. My apartment (okay so it isn’t mine I only rent it but still it’s something that I can call home) isn’t the most luxurious thing ever it’s your basic one room apartment with a kitchen and a small living room and used furniture. I’ve sent him pictures of it and of course Brian called it a shithole. 

I get back to the apartment and it’s around 4 p.m. and since it’s Friday he’ll be at the loft eating his dinner before going to Babylon so I’ll call him and see what’s up.

“Hey” I say nonchalantly.

“Hey back.” He says it coolly but I can hear the nostalgia behind it he misses me too.

“So what are you up to.” Like I don’t already know.

“Well, gee I was just getting ready to have dinner with the family, honey.” He replies sarcastically and I roll my eyes.

“Ha ha, funny asshole, you’re probably eating take out and after that you’ll probably be getting to go to Woody’s and then Babylon.” I say finally.

“Well, If you knew then what the fuck are you asking for and why the fuck are you calling.” He says and I almost forget that I love this man. 

“I miss you okay, fuck brian don’t you miss me?” I know he does but I still have to hear it from him.

“No, I don’t miss you. I’ve just had a stressful day you would think being your own boss would make it less stressful but I guess not.” He sighs into the phone. I grin because I know it means he misses me and the stress relief therapy we would do when he came back to the loft.

“So, what are you doing for Christmas since it’s like a week away but knowing you probably have something planned and as much you deny it you love to give presents.” I say it with a knowing smile.

“Same old, same old going to Deb’s for dinner and then going to Babylon and fuck every hot guy in sight.” He says it casually. Somethings will never change but that’s what I love about him that he’s willing to be himself no matter what.

There’s a long pause and for a second I think he hung up on me but I know he would never do that.

“So… what are you doing for Christmas?” He says hesitantly as if I’m going to be like him and go to a club and fuck everyone in sight he should know better that I’m not like him. 

“I think I’m going to go to Rockefeller Plaza and see the tree and watch the people in awe and I might sketch their reactions then I’m going to the apartment and eat some dinner.” I say sadly.

“ Sunshine all work and no play makes you a dull boy. You’re in New Fucking York you should go out and fuck.” He says concern showing despite all his best efforts to cover it. 

“I’ll be fine brian.” I say truthfully because I will. Because I have to be fine. I have to prove to myself, to him, to everyone that I can make it.

“I know.” he says quietly. 

“Well then since you’re on the phone and I’m horny minus well have phone sex.” He drawls into the phone. I laugh because every time we talk this is where it leads and this is the part that always gets me because it reminds me of all the great sex we had and can’t have all the time anymore just when I manage to squeeze some time to go back home. 

“So what I’m doing to you, sunshine.” I can tell he already is unbuttoning his pants.

“You’re shoving me against the bed and ripping my clothes off. I’m taking your clothes off too.” I start to unzip my pants also.

“Go on.” He moans already jerking off.

“We’re kissing relentlessly. My hands are all over you and you’re kissing my neck.” I start to stroke myself also.

“Yeah I like kissing your neck leaving a hickey there to remind you that you’ve been marked by me.” Brian says moaning probably stroking himself faster.

“Oh God.. Brian… you lower yourself to my dick and take it into your mouth. I can feel your tongue licking the head and then you deep throat me.” I say moaning now stroking myself at his pace.

“Yeah. I love to have your dick all the way in my throat. I like making you writhe and moan under me.” he says with shallow breathing.

“Oh yeah… your tongue starts to lick the slit where there’s pre cum bubbling then you start sucking as I get near my orgasm.” I say barely holding on.

“Fuck… mmmm…. I love the way you taste then I start sucking you harder mmmm ahh…” he says definitely at the edge now and I’m right there with him.

“Oh fuck… then you start to finger fuck me… and that’s when I lose it… Oh God Ahhh… Oh yeah Brian” I say shooting into my hands. 

“ Oh God…. Justin…oh fuck…. Mmmm….” He grunts shooting his own orgasm into his hands.

There’s a long pause we’re both trying recover our breathing.

“Wow.” I say 

“Yeah. That was fucking great.” He says

“Well, I have to go I have eat something you know.” I say I really didn’t want to hang up but I had to otherwise I would be crying into the phone plus I'm starving.

“Oh sure, I get you off and now that I served your purpose you want hang up.” He said sarcastically.

“No you asshole, I’m starving I’ve been working all day without a break.” It’s true painting is physically draining but I love it and wouldn’t change it. 

“Fine. Bye.” he huffs into the phone.

“I love you too, Brian.” I say with a grin on my face knowing that he didn’t want to hang up to talk to me some more.

*********************************************************

After we hang up I lose my appetite. I throw away left over of the Thai food I ordered. When he was here there were never any leftovers because he would always eat everything. I’ve been doing that a lot lately remembering all the good memories we have. I shake my head to clear my mind.

I decide to call Michael and tell him to get ready for Woody’s.

“Hey Mikey, Get ready we’re going to Woody’s” I say in a tone that says I mean it. 

“Fine. What time?” Mikey whines as if he has something better to do.

“Meet you there at 7” I say and hang up.

I go to the closet and chose my outfit a black fitted shirt with blue jeans that hug my ass but are loose around my legs. I look in the bathroom mirror and see myself and as usual I look hot but that’s not how I feel inside. I don’t know how to describe it but it’s like I’m missing something. Suddenly it’s too quiet in the loft without his talking and his music. These couple of months without him have been hard. At least when he was with the fiddler I could see him at the diner but now I don’t even have that comfort. I fucking hate this feeling of loneliness of needing him around me.

Finally I turn off the lights to the loft and head to the ‘vette. As I’m driving to Woody’s my mind flashes through all the good and bad memories that we have. I shake my head and put on my Brian fucking Kinney façade that only he could see through as I arrive at Woody’s.

“Hey Mikey.” I say as I make my way to the bar and order myself a scotch on the rocks.

“Hey Brian.” he says sitting next to me.

“ I haven’t seen you all week.” he says whining again. I roll my eyes. As if there aren’t other important things than him.

“I’ve been busy with work.” I say tongue in cheek.

“Are you sure you haven’t been busy missing Justin. I know how much you miss him brian even if you won’t admit it.” Mikey says drinking his beer.

“Michael that is none of your business.” I say knowing that he wants my well being but sometimes he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. Hearing about Justin just makes me miss him more. 

“I know. It’s just that I want to help you get through this.” he says.

“I don’t need your help. I’m fine. Right now all I want to do is get drunk and go to Babylon. Okay.” I say in a no nonsense tone. I order another scotch. 

“Brian don’t you think you’ve been drinking enough.” he says with concern.

“No I don’t.” I say curtly glaring at him. 

“I can’t come to Babylon brian. Ben just came back from his seminar and I want to be home to celebrate with him.” he says excitedly. I should feel so happy for him that he has a partner but somehow I don’t because mine is in fucking New York and I know that’s where he should be but it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

“Fine be with your husband. I’m going to Babylon.” I say paying for the drinks and making a move to get up.

“Bye Mikey.” I say making my way to the door.

“Brian, maybe I should go with you. You don’t look so well.” Mikey says worriedly again.

“I’ll be fine go home to your husband.” I say making my way to the ‘vette. I head to Babylon and go straight to the stair railing to get a better view of who might get lucky tonight. I finally spot a medium build blonde. I make my move and take the trick to the backroom. I'm not in the mood for a fuck just a blowjob. 

I unzip my pants and motion for the trick to suck my dick. As I close my eyes all I could envision was Justin sucking my dick and how hot and great it was. The trick is doing an okay job but there was nothing like a blowjob from Justin. Just thinking about Justin gave way to my orgasm. 

The trick stands up trying to kiss me but I push him away and zip my pants. The kissing is only reserved for one person and I’m not going to change that. I can’t keep doing this anymore it’s been two months since he left and I still feel like a part of me is missing and I don’t fucking like that feeling. I need to feel that I’m in fucking control. I need a plan. 

I decide to leave the club and make my way to the car and head home. Funny that I should say home when the only time it was ever a home was when he was there with his shit all over the place. I miss that shit. 

*********************************************************  
I finally found the Christmas tree I really want. It’s a 4’ft pine tree and I love it. I wanted to get it small because my apartment is small and if I got a big tree it would have looked out of proportion but this tree is just cute. So here I am on a Saturday morning decorating my beautiful tree when two months ago I would be sleeping to recover from the intense sex we just had. Later today I’m going to pick out presents to put under the Christmas tree. I Know what I want for Christmas and that was one tall, hot ad exec but that wasn’t happening anytime soon. 

Christmas time in New York is such a magical time you can see people out in the street with their shopping bags full of presents, people with their Christmas trees fresh from the lot. Choirs at the entrance of every store trying make people give them donations.

My mom is going to love the sweater I picked out for her. It’s beige and has a picture of the Brooklyn bridge with the Hudson river below it. I got molly a porcelain doll with accessories. I got Emmett some hot leather pants so he can wear to Babylon. Ted being the boring accountant type I got him his favorite opera cd since he lost the one he had. Debbie being Debbie I got her a dvd containing all of her favorite original 1970s movies. Mel and lindz I got gift cards to pottery barn. Gus I got transformers that turn into cars. Brian I got him a Gucci watch that has a miniature statue of liberty. Michael I got him a gift card to his favorite comic book store. Ben I got him a gift card to a herbalist place. Jenny Rebecca I got her a playskool radio that sings lullabies. Daphne I got her a friendship bracelet. 

So now that I have all the presents I head back to my apartment to wrap them up and put them up under the Christmas tree till I overnight them next week. I hope everybody likes what I bought them. 

I get back to my apartment and put the bags away and work on the painting that I need to finish for Monday.

I start putting the finishing touches on the painting in which once again brian has been my inspiration. In the painting we are under the Rockefeller tree staring at each other under the moonlight. I know I’m a romantic but deep down so is he and I know that if he ever saw the painting he’d like it just because it was done by me. 

*********************************************************

I walk into my office looking every bit the hot ad exec that I am. This weekend gave me a lot to think about or more specifically a lot think about him. I finally have a plan and now I just need an excuse that will not make me seem like a pathetic loser that can’t without him (which I know I have become but nobody needs to fucking know that). 

“Cynthia.” I buzz her.

“Yes, boss.” She comes into my office with a pad and pen. That's what I like about her she’s always prepared. 

“I need a reservation to New York for Christmas Day and until after New Years.” I say in a casual tone all the while looking at an account in front of me. 

“So you finally decided that you can’t be without him, huh?” She teases.

“I have a potential client up there” I say casually not really caring if she believes me or not. 

“Sure you do.” She drawls.

“I don’t care if you believe me or not.” I say truthfully.

“Now, if you don’t mind I have work to do so I can leave Friday for New York.” I say not looking at her.

“Fine. I’ll have it booked. Does he know you’re going.” She says.

“No, he doesn’t and neither does anyone else and I’d like it to remain that way if you want to keep your job.” I say sounding serious. 

“I won’t tell anyone then.” She says making a motion to zip her lips and I can trust she won’t tell anyone if she knows what is good for her.

“Now can you get me the mock ups for the Goodman Account I need to make sure they are ready to go before Friday.” I say in a business tone.

“Sure thing boss.” She says in a business tone as well.

It was noon and I had made good progress in working on the accounts that needed to be ready so that I could leave Christmas day which fell on a Friday this year. I had already bought all the presents and I’m going to give them on Thursday before I leave. I get to the diner and thank god today is Debbie’s day off and she won’t have to interrogate me about why I’m not going to her dinner. But of course I’m never that lucky since the gang is all here.

I walk towards them and scoot Ted over so that he’s squished between me and Emmett.

“Hey Mikey.” I say smiling at him.

“Hey Bri.” He says back.

“Hello to you too.” Says Ted in his boring voice well not that anything about Ted isn’t boring.

“Hello Tweedle dee and Tweedle dumb.” I say with sarcastic smirk on my face. They both roll their eyes at me.

“Oh Ma, says to remind you of the Christmas Dinner on Friday.” Michael says looking at the menu. Right like I need a reminder cuz I have Alzheimer’s or something. 

“I can’t go, I have other plans.” I say casually preparing myself for his whining.

“Brian, what do you mean you have plans, it’s Christmas day for fuck’s sake.” He whines.

“Just what I said I have plans.” I say cryptically.

“He probably has to go spread his Christmas joy all over the backroom at Babylon.” Emmett says. 

“Yeah, since nobody wants you.” I say to Emmett. He just glares at me.

“So, what are you doing then.” Mikey says suspiciously. I swear being with Ben has made him more perceptive to things.

“I’m going on a business trip.” I say tongue in cheek.

“It’s official he’s turn into scrooge.” Ted says. 

“Brian, Since when the fuck do you work on Christmas Day.” Michael says.

“Can we order, please.” I say changing the subject.

“Fine but I’m going to find out what is really going on.” Michael says seriously.

So we all order our lunches and the conversation starts to go towards trivial things. I just tune it out and nod at the right place because frankly I don’t give a shit about the new fishing rod or what hideous clothes Emmett is insane enough to buy or how Mikey found this new comic. I just wish that I can be having an intellectual discussion with Justin. 

“Well, I have to go back to the office.” I say getting up.

“Okay, see you at Woody’s and you better tell me the truth.” Michael says.

“Tell Deb I’ll drop the presents on Thursday.” I holler back now opening the door to the diner.

So I head back to my office and continue to fill this void that I call my life thinking that the only time it was really fulfilled was with him. Shit. I have turned into a lesbian. Little fucker wait till I get him in New York. I’m going to fuck him into oblivion. So I get to the office and start working on the rest of the accounts that need my perfection.

“Brian, Debbie is on line 1.” Cynthia buzzes me. Shit. Michael can’t keep his fucking mouth close. I knew this was going to happen. I can’t bullshit Debbie she knows me to well.

“Put her through.” I say. Waiting to be chewed a second asshole.

“What the fuck do you mean you aren’t coming to the dinner on Friday.” She practically yells into the phone.

“I’m going on a business trip.” I say like I said to her son.

“Don’t you lie to me Brian.” She says in her motherly tone.

What the fuck they’re going to find out sooner or later might as well be me who tells them the truth. “I’m going to see Justin.” I say smugly.

“That’s good for you honey but why the fuck didn’t you say anything.” She says.

Maybe because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it I’m just going so I can fuck him. “Just be happy I told you, okay.” I say.

“Why did you tell me.” She says. Good question.

“Because sooner or later you would’ve found out and would’ve chewed out anyway. So better now than later when I won’t have the strength to defend myself.” I say sarcastically.

“Well you tell sunshine we love him. I’ll give you his presents on Thursday.” she says in her motherly tone. Great now I’m going to be the hot version of Santa. This is just fucking great. Speaking about presents I hope he likes the one I got him. 

“Fine. Whatever.” I say knowing better than to argue with her.

“Now can you let me work.” I say tongue in cheek.

“Fine. Asshole.” She says with what I know is a smirk on her face.

“Cynthia! No more interruptions” I buzz her.

“Yes. Boss” She says.  
*********************************************************

I always feel nervous before an art show and this is the fourth one I’ve done. The anxiety of what people might say about my art work and especially the critic. I have to calm down if only brian were here he would assure me that my artwork is fucking amazing which I know it is but with him I believe it. Several of my sketches are about him. My other paintings are about people in the street and about life. Many people come up to congratulate me on a job well done. I try to smile but inside I know that I’m not happy because my friends aren’t here, my family isn’t here and he isn’t here so how the fuck I’m supposed to be happy. Finally the show ends and I’ve sold 5 of my paintings. 

As I head back to my apartment I can’t help but think how different my life would’ve been if I had stayed in Pittsburgh. Would I have still been as successful an artist as I might be here. I know I would’ve been happy with Brian at my side but would I have truly happy with myself as an artist. Who the fuck knows and I sure as hell don’t. 

I get to my apartment and it’s about 9 p.m. he’s probably at Woody’s right now so I’ll call him later. All I really wanna do right now is take a shower and sleep because having your own art show is exhausting. 

I strip my clothes on the way to the bathroom. I close my eyes as the hot steamy water burns my skin suddenly I’m having a vision of hot steamy sex. His body pressed against mine my body pressed against a glass wall. He’s pushing in and out of me at an accelerated pace. I begin to jerk off to this vision. As I begin to reach my climax I realize I’m crying for the things I had, for the things I might never have constantly anyways. Sure we talk to each other and have phone sex but it’s not the same as having the real thing in front of you, touching you, kissing you, stroking you, fucking you. Christ. I need to stop thinking about that or otherwise I’m going to have a raging hard on.

I finally get out of the shower and head to my bedroom I put on some sweats and finally let sleep engulf me. I wake up around 12 p.m. and realize that I’d been having a dream about him. Shit even in my dreams I’m thinking about him. I know that he’s not asleep so I figure I’ll call him.

“Hey” I say now fully awake.

“Hey” He says back.

“So how was your art show did you fuck any hot artists.” He says. 2 years ago I would’ve been shocked that he remembered but not anymore. He’s gotten better with the little things and that means a whole lot to me. 

“No I didn’t fuck any hot artists and the art show was great I sold 5 of my paintings.” I say grinning because I’m happy of how it went at the art show. 

“How was your day?” I say sensing that there’s something he’s hiding.

“It was fucked up as usual no one in the art department can do anything right.” He says sighing. He’s always been a perfectionist.

“I’m sure it was you just being a drama queen.” I joke.

“Fuck you, you’re the drama queen remember.” he says with what I know is a smirk on his face. 

We both know that we can be drama queens when we want to. “Whatever, I just called cuz I wanted to hear your voice.” I say changing the subject.

“Ah that is so sweet, honey I missed you too.” He says in a high falsetto voice dripping sarcasm. I grin because I know he has missed me. Michael called me and told me that he’s been getting more drunk than usual.

“Listen to me brian. You can’t keep getting so drunk you pass out. I know you miss me but that is not how to deal with it.” I say seriously.

“Who the fuck told you that Michael. He doesn’t know shit.” He says getting pissed off.

“He’s your friend brian and he didn’t need to tell me I know you and I know how you cope with your feelings.” I say. 

“Just because you like to mope around doesn’t mean I have to do the same fucking thing. You like to mope then go ahead mope all you fucking want. If I want get fucking drunk then that’s what I’m going to do.” He says now pissed off.

“I don’t mope around. I merely reminisce.” I say quietly. I hear him laughing. Asshole. 

“You know that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.” He says smirking.

“Well I’m glad I amuse you. Asshole.” I say it’s my turn to be a little pissed off even if there is a smile trying to sneak out of my lips because I finally got him to laugh.

“Why do you think I’ve kept you around all this time.” he chuckles. Did I mention he can be such an asshole sometimes okay most of the time.

“Just promise me that you won’t drink till you pass out. I don’t want Michael calling me about how they had to take you to the hospital for alcohol poisoning please brian.” I say in a pleading voice.

“Yes, honey.” he says it sarcastically but that’s good enough cuz I know he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it.

“Good to hear.” I say with finality.

“Debbie wants to know when your going to send the presents.” He says changing the subject.

“Tell her that I’ll send them on Wednesday so they should be there by Thursday.” I say.

“So … um what did you get me.” I ask curiosity always gets the best of me.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He chuckles.

“Come on, tell me.” I say pleadingly.

“All good things come to those who wait, sunshine.” he says. 

I look at the clock by the night stand and it’s already 2 a.m. which means I need hang up soon to get some more sleep. Shit. But I don’t want to hang up I don’t want to stop hearing his voice, his sarcasm, his subliminal message, his vulnerability underneath all that sarcasm.

“Uh, Justin are you there you didn’t fall asleep did you.” He says with mock anger.

“Uh… no.” I say stifling a yawn.

“If your sleepy I can hang up.” he offers.

“No I want to … yawn… hear your voice a little while longer.” I say sleepy now.

“You should get some sleep. I’m going to hang up.” he says. I want to argue with him but I’m too sleepy suddenly I feel my eyes fluttering between staying awake and going to sleep.

“later.” He says.

“later.” I say cuz I know there will always be a later there has never been a bye because for one reason or another our lives are connected to each other no matter how much he tried to end that connection in the beginning. I finally close my eyes and let sleep take over. 

I haven’t able to go to Pittsburgh because I’ve to busy trying to establish myself as an artist but I’m going to try and make a trip down there in the next few months that or have him come up here because I need him near me in order to be complete. I’ve always wanted him and I always get what I want this won’t change a thing. I’m not going to give up on us.

*********************************************************

Shit it’s Thursday already and I have to go to Debbie’s house which means more interrogation from my so-called friends well at least I’ll get to see Gus before I leave. Melanie and Lindsey arrived a day early since Debbie decided to make the dinner on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. I’m pretty sure everyone knows that I’m not going on a business trip because Emmett and Ted keep dropping not so subtle hints about how the weather in New York is and how if I’m ever there I should bring them souvenirs and Michael keeps giving me these knowing looks. Well fuck them. I glance at the clock and see that it’s 2 p.m. I have more than enough time to browse the internet for a good fuck. I might have told Justin that I love him and it’s true but I’m still Brian fucking Kinney and I still feel pleasure from being in control and doing something new and adventurous. 

I browse the internet and finally find what I want and tell him to meet me here in 15 minutes. The guy has black hair with well developed biceps, a broad chest and a big impressive bulge in front and a nice ass. I lead him to the bedroom and open the drawer to get a bump. Drugs make sex all the more pleasurable it makes it seem kind of surreal. So I undress myself and the trick is already undressed.

I put on a condom lubing two fingers I start to prepare the trick. I enter him completely eliciting a grunt from him. I pull out almost completely than ram back in. I start thrusting in and out while the trick starts to jerk him self off. Like I’ve said before I love this power of being in control and the drugs make it all the more better. As I close my eyes I see the image of a slim body writhing under me and that almost makes me want to come the key word being almost. I start pounding into the trick harder and faster. I can vaguely hear the trick saying “oh yeah” and “harder” but I’m so lost in this riveting vision of Justin sweating and panting and crying my name out that the trick doesn’t really matter at the moment he’s only a means of escape. In my vision I see Justin start to come and that finally does it. I come hard and fill the condom to capacity. The trick comes a few seconds after. I pull out of him and collapse onto the bed.

“Wow, that was amazing.” says the trick. 

“I’m sure.” I say sarcastically. I put on my discarded pants. 

The trick finishes putting on his own clothes and heads towards the door I follow him and shut the door. I head back to the bedroom and see that it’s already 3 p.m. I guess time flies when your having fun or more correctly when your having a vision of Justin. I go to the bathroom take off my pants and start the shower. 

I can feel the water seep into every pore refreshing, intoxicating just like he did, does, and always will. I finish taking shower stepping out I grab a towel and start to dry myself off. 

The dinner is suppose to be at 5 and it’s 3:30. I go to the bedroom and look through my closet for the perfect outfit to wear to the dinner. It was a red long sleeve shirt that fits me in all the right places and black slacks and of course I can’t forget my prada shoes. I put the outfit on and go to the bathroom to make my hair perfect. I go back into the closet and get the presents out leaving Justin’s in the closet. I put them in a big paper bag and place it on one of the steps as I head to the living room since I still have some time before going out. I turn on the TV and decide to watch the news for a little bit.

I look at the clock and see that it’s time to leave. I grab the bag full of presents and set it near the door and go about turning off all the lights and setting the alarm. I make it down the elevator and towards the ‘vette. I put the presents in the backseat and drive towards Debbie’s house and start thinking about the times that he and I have shared together.I get to Debbie’s house and steel myself for the 101 questions they’ll be asking tonight. Heading towards the door I ring the doorbell and Debbie lets me in. 

I make my way to the coach where Lindsay and Melanie are there with a hyperactive Gus. 

“Hey Gus come see daddy.” I say in a baby voice looking down at him whose playing with some race cars.

“So Debbie says you’re going out of town.” Lindsey says. Shit I just came in and already the fuck interrogation starts.

“Yeah.” I say looking up at her. Gus looks up from where he’s playing and jumps into my lap.

“So where are you going” Melanie says matter of factly. 

“I’m going to New York.” I say knowing that it doesn’t really matter cuz gossip in this family runs amuck.

“That’s so adorable.” Lindsay says. I just roll my eyes meanwhile Gus is jumping up and down on my lap.

I cover Gus’s ears before my reply. “ There’s nothing adorable about me going to New York and fucking him till we both pass out.” I say with a smug smirk.

“Jesus Brian, can’t you for once stop talking about sex.” Melanie says deciding to interject her advice.

“Well that would be like having to stop breathing.” I say sarcastically.

“So when are you leaving.” Lindsay says.

“Tomorrow.” I say.

“So that’s his Christmas present a fuck from Brian Kinney.” Melanie says accusingly.

“Fuck you, I’ll have you know I’ll be staying till after new years’.” The doorbell rings and the rest of the gang comes in. 

Everybody starts greeting each other and head over to the couch. Melanie and Lindsay scoot over to give room to Emmett on the shorter couch. I scoot over to give Michael and Ben some room and Ted sits on the love chair all by himself how appropriate.

Debbie who’d been in the kitchen comes out to let us know that dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I grimace at the thought of how many calories there are going to be in this dinner. Everybody heads towards dining room table normally I would’ve sat next to Justin but now I'm sitting next Michael which isn’t bad but that means I couldn’t sneak my hand under the table and make him hard. Oh well I’ll get to be able to do that tomorrow that brought a smile to my face and made my dick get hard. Shit now was not the place for my dick to get hard. 

“Brian what are you thinking?” Mikey asks. If he only knew.

“Nothing.” I say putting my mask back in place and wiping the smirk of my face.

“I bet he was thinking of Justin.” Ted says. I glare at him but before I can reply Debbie comes in with a tray full of lasagna. She goes back into the kitchen and comes back with a bottle of wine.

I take a slice of lasagna and pour myself some wine and replace it back in it’s place. Debbie whose sitting at  
the end of the table motions for everyone to look at her as if she can be missed. I think Debbie can be seen from a satellite orbiting the earth.

“This year I would like to make a toast to my brother Vic Grassi.” She says her voice filled with emotion.

“To Vic.” We all say and raise our glasses and start drinking. 

“Okay boys and girls dig in.” Debbie says back to her cheerful self.

Surprisingly the conversation stayed clear of my trip to New York. Thank fucking god if I have to explain myself to anyone else I’m going to fucking explode. After Dinner everybody headed back to the living room to open up presents. For the first time I see the presents that Justin had overnighted. Ben and Michael start handing out presents. I receive the present from Justin and decide to open it later. I get a few more presents. Everybody seems content with what I got them and also with what Justin got them. Of course they should be content we have great taste. I look at the clock and see that it’s 10 p.m. and I still have to go pack up. So I decide that I should leave. 

“Bye Mikey.” I say.

“Leaving so soon.” Mikey whines. What the fuck do you mean I’ve been here a little after 5 pm. Where the fuck were you coming in late when it’s your mother’s dinner.

“Well you know a person can only eat so much lasagna.” I say sarcastically. He just rolls his eyes. I make my way to the kitchen to say goodbye to Debbie because I know that if I don’t I won’t hear the end of it when I come back. I see her putting pots and plates in the dishwasher. She looks up at me with my jacket on and the presents set aside on the floor.

“You leavin” She says.

“Yeah I gotta go pack for tomorrow.” I say

“You be careful okay, say hi to sunshine for me.” she says in her motherly tone.

“Oh I almost forgot his presents.” She says going back to the living room where everyone had pooled his present into a big pile. She puts them into a big bag and gives the bag to me and I put it with the bag of my presents. 

She comes and gives me a big bear hug. I see Gus out of the corner of my eye and break from her embrace. I gather Gus in my arms.

“Hey Gus, daddy has to go but I’ll see you real soon.” I say.

“Where you going” he coos

“I’m going to go see Justin.” I say. 

“I wanna see Justin too.” he says excitedly.

“He’s in New York.” I say and Mel and Lindz come to the rescue. 

“You go see him.” he says

“Yes.” I say giving him to Lindsay as I open the door and pick up the bag of presents.

“Bye Gus.” I say.

“Bye Daddy.” he says back. Lindsay hands Gus to Melanie as walks with me outside.

“Tell Justin that we miss him.” Lindsay says.

“Okay.” I say pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

“Bye Brian.” she says pulling me into another embrace. What is it with women and hugging.

“Bye Lindsay.” I say pulling out of the embrace and taking another drag of the cigarette. 

I make my way to the car and put the bag of presents inside the backseat. I decide that I’m going to open the presents tomorrow with him. I drive towards the loft and start thinking about how tomorrow I’ll be in New York with him and makes me want to drive to the loft faster. I have to be at the airport 6 a.m. and my plane leaves at 8 a.m. so I’llbe there in the afternoon which gives us plenty of time to fuck. I arrive at the loft and set the presents on the couch and not for the first time I see just how empty the loft is, how empty my life is without him. 

I go to the bedroom and change into my black wife beater and my faded jeans. I pull out my suit cases and start packing. My carry on bag has all of my anti-aging shit, my moisturizers, I put my condoms, dildos just in case we get kinky and the lube in the bag as well. My other two suitcases are full of my clothes and shoes. I leave out the clothes and shoes I’m going to wear to the airport tomorrow. Having finished packing everything I need I go around and turn off the lights and set the alarm. I brush my teeth and take a piss. 

I undress myself till I’m in my underwear and pull the covers from under the duvet and lay down then I reach over and set the alarm for 5 a.m. and go to sleep knowing that in a few hours I’m going to be with him. 

The alarm wakes me up and I turn it off. Stretching my limbs I get off the bed and fix the bed before going into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I get dressed and open up the closet to get Justin’s gift and then I open the drawer and retrieve the two platinum bands I had ridiculously given him when I fucking propose (I still don’t know what the fuck I was thinking I guess after the explosion at Babylon and the fear of losing him again I became too romantic for my own taste.) he says he misses me so this will be a way to remind him of me after I’m gone. I put the rings in my jacket. I go about turning off the lights and calling the taxi cab to take me to the airport. When everything is ready I open the putting all my luggage and the bag of presents putting his present in it outside the door and then reset the alarm locking the door. 

Riding on the way to the airport I start wondering what his reaction will be. Will be shocked or will he be trying to act as if it’s no big deal that I’m there. I can’t wait to be inside him again to see how much this time apart has changed him. I can’t wait to have my hands and mouth all over his body till he’s writhing and moaning and begging me to fuck him. My thoughts are distracted by the driver telling me that we’re at the airport. I pay him and get out my luggage.

On the airplane I take my seat in first class and put the bag of presents under me and decide to sleep.

*********************************************************

All day I’ve been having this feeling that something is going to happen and I’m not sure how to feel. So here I am on the couch sketching him and for some reason I haven’t able to stop thinking about him not I never think about him but this is more than the usual. I wonder if this means I’m going crazy or I’m suffering from a bad trip. I wonder if he liked the watch. Maybe I’m thinking so much about him because I have the holiday blues because we used to spend this holiday together him fucking the shit out of me and then going to Debbie’s for dinner. I wonder what he’ll be doing today knowing he’ll probably be getting high it’s his pain management. 

I decide to take a walk around central park to see if that’ll clear my head so I put on my jacket and gloves and take my sketch pad with me. There aren’t as many people walking around because it’s freezing but the cold makes me see things clear. I sit on a bench and draw children playing on the snow left over from Wednesday. The weather man said it was going to snow today so it’ll be the first white Christmas I’ll spend with out him. Shit. There I go thinking about him. It’s not that I don’t like thinking about him but sooner or later I’m going to have to get my own life because like it or not it’ll be a while before I go to back Pittsburgh for good if I ever go. 

I decide to go back to the apartment which is just like 10 minutes from here. I get to the apartment and toss my jacket on the couch I’ve never been the neat and tidy type. I go into the bedroom take of my clothes and decide to take a long hot shower. 

I come out of the shower and put on some sweats and a long sleeve shirt. I’m drying my hair off when I hear the doorbell. I’m not expecting anyone. I go to open the door with a confused look on my face until I open the door and recognition hits me. It’s him. He’s here in New York. Oh my god. I can’t believe this. I have this huge grin on my face and he smiles back. 

“Well aren’t you going to let me in.” He says smirking. 

Well duh I have to let him in to devour him. “Sure come in.” I say. I step to the side to let him in. He comes in and puts his luggage and a bag he’s carrying on the floor. 

We stand still for a few seconds before I jump on him it takes him a second to respond since I just shocked him but then we kiss and it’s all I remember and more our tongues savoring each other my hands at his neck to pull him closer his hands on my waist pulling me even closer to him. We just can’t get enough of our mouths this so much better than having phone sex or jacking off to a vision in my head this is the real thing and it never gets better than this. We break apart from our earth shattering kiss to get our breathing back under control. 

He takes his jacket off and puts it on the couch. I start to take my shirt off but he stops me his eyes telling me that he wants to do it he wants to touch my skin, savor it, caress it, lick it and I’ll let him just so I know that this isn’t a dream. My breath catches when he slides his hands underneath my shirt to pull it up and he briefly plays with my nipple. I move my hands to his shirt and pull it off he moves his hands to my sweats pushes them down my cock already hard gets harder he when starts to stroke it. I pull his pants down also and he steps out of them. 

I motion towards the bedroom hand and hand never losing contact we walk over to my twin bed. He pushes me gently on the bed and I scoot up as he hovers above me and the look in his eyes melts my heart it’s so much passion, love, need, desire. He kisses me hard on the mouth my hands are on his hair pulling his mouth tight against mine. He starts kiss my neck and I crane my neck to give him better access he nips, bites, licks and soothes the skin there. He lowers himself down my body kissing and biting each nipple. My skin feels like it’s about to spontaneously combust if he keeps it up like this. I let my hands roam his back touching everything that is skin. 

He lowers himself till he’s kissing my stomach leaving wet opened mouth kisses then he reaches my harden cock that is just leaking like crazy he sees precum and flicks the slit with his tongue and gets a taste of me that makes my cock twitch a little and that makes him smile. Asshole. He loves knowing my dick loves him hell that I love him and wouldn’t change him for the world. He teases me by moving from my cock to my balls. He sucks and rolls them around in his mouth causing me to moan. 

“Brian come on suck my cock.” I say cuz I’ve missed his talented tongue. He flashes me devilish grin. 

Then takes me in completely to his mouth and it’s all I can do not to fuck his mouth. He lets me go a little before licking the shaft with his tongue. Oh how I’ve missed his tongue. Then he swirls his tongue around the head and I’m reduced to mush. He starts to deep throat me I lose it and start pumping my hips into his mouth just a little. He grips my hips and starts bob his head up and down all the while creating wonderful erotic sensations with his tongue bringing me over to the edge several times before I can’t take it anymore. He knows this and begins to suck me harder and deep throat me until I shoot deep down into his throat. I shout out a loud “Oh Yeah”. 

I’m panting trying to recover my breathing and he lays down next to me. 

“Wow that was fantastic.” I say now breathing right.

“Yeah.” He says smiling. 

“It’s your turn.” I say and move to be on top of him he moves to the center away from the edge of the bed. 

I kiss his stomach move up a little to play with his nipples biting them, licking them. Then I lower myself till I’m at eye level with the object of my sleepless nights, worship, desire, lust, passion and love. I play with his balls rolling them around in my hands. The scar where they removed his ball has completely faded if it weren’t for the bad memories of those long ago days you couldn’t tell he had cancer. Finally I take his cock into my mouth I lick the slit I twirl my tongue around the head my tongue licking the shaft. Creating suction by sucking harder and faster. I can tell he’s about to come cuz his eyes are closed his back is arching of the bed and he’s grunting. I smile knowing that I’m causing all of this pleasure surging through his body and continue to suck harder and faster till I feel his cum in my mouth and I suck every last bit of it till there’s nothing. 

I come back up and kiss his mouth letting him taste himself he pulls me in even closer pressing our bodies together. Our tongues exploring each other’s mouth all of the wet crevices unexplored from two months of separation. We pull apart breathlessly.

“God Brian I’ve missed you so much.” I say with my head on his chest staring up into his eyes.

“We’ll have plenty of time to talk but right now I want to fuck you.” He says already on top of me. 

“I have missed your cock inside me.” I say to him with a husky voice.

He kisses me hard on the mouth and then nuzzles my neck leaving a hickey there moving down he devours my chest. I moan when he bites and licks the skin there my hands are all over his back, his hair. He gets up from the bed and I give him a where the fuck are you going look but then I see him open his carryon bag and retrieves a condom and lube. He’s nothing if not prepared. He comes back to the bed and I move up to make room for him. He puts the supplies down. 

“Roll over.” He says tongue in cheek. I give him a confused look but then smile when I see him looking at my ass. So I immediately roll over. He kneels on the bed and raises my legs around his shoulders leaving my ass in the air he pulls me towards his face and grips my hips to steady us both. He licks my crack sending shivers down my spine. God I missed his tongue in my ass I rest head on my pillow eyes closed in pleasure. He licks my pucker pushes his tongue a little bit in but not all the way in just enough to get a taste of my ass. I push my ass into his face to get him to stop teasing and get on with it. 

Finally he relents and pushes his tongue in my hole in and out it goes causing me to moan and grasp the sheets. He blows air into it that sends a shiver up my spine and his tongue starts to lick my hole like it was ice cream twirling it, pushing his tongue further in and I push my ass into his face wanting to get more of that sensation

“Oh God… I’ve missed your tongue.” I pant muffled by the pillow.

“And. I’ve. Missed. Your. Ass.” He says every word punctuated by a thrust from his tongue.

Then he pulls his tongue out and rolls me over so that I’m on my back and he puts two fingers into his mouth and it’s the most sexiest and erotic thing I have seen ( and being with brian I’ve seen many) it makes hard rock cock even harder. Satisfied that his fingers are slick enough he plunges them into my ass making me grunt. He starts to pull them out and plunges them back in and I think I’ve gone to heaven I start to push down on his fingers and play with his nipples running my hands all over his chest. He starts to scissor his fingers apart pushing them as far as they go hitting my prostate to which I let out a loud “Oh Fuck.” Knowing that this gets me all the time he does it over and over again. 

I look at his eyes their glazed with lust and then I look down and see that his cock is so hard that it’s pointing straight up to his chin. I love that I make him this hard. 

“Brian, fuck me.” I say moaning. God I want that dick inside my ass. I’ve always wanted his dick and probably always will. He leans down to kiss my sweat cover face and whispers in my ear “I missed you.” I just smile because making a big deal would just ruin the moment. He pulls out his fingers and suddenly I feel empty. He hands me the condom to put it on him and I expertly put it on his hard dick and then he spreads some of the lube on the condom. My legs go around his waist as his cock enters me. We both let out a moan at the feeling of completeness. He pulls almost all the way out to slam back in. He sets this fast and hard rhythm. I push my hips down to meet every thrust. I tighten my legs around his sweaty waist and he tightens his grip on my hips. He bends down to kiss me and our mouths smash into each other all the while he rams into me. 

“Harder… mmmm…. I want you to fuck me harder brian.” I moan. 

He assaults my ass with renew vigor and I feel like I’m floating there’s nothing better than the sensation of brian pounding into my ass. I start stroke myself matching his pace. He continues to pound into me hitting my prostate making me gasp. I continue to stroke myself faster and I can feel my orgasm building up.

“Oh God. Brian. I love you.” I say not really afraid of saying it to him anymore after his own admission.

“You too.” He says smirking at me and I smile back at him. Hearing those words make my orgasm take way and my cock erupts cum all over my stomach and my hand. My muscles clamp around his dick and that’s enough for him to go into his own orgasm. I watch those beautiful hazel eyes close as he rides his wave and his head toss back. He moans my name and grunts shooting his load into the condom.

He collapses on top of me and I had forgotten how wonderful it felt to have his sweaty hot body lie on top of me. We're both panting and recovering from the intense hot sex we just had. Damn it I have to take another shower now again. Brian lays next to me.

“That was amazing.” I say looking into his eyes.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” He says.

“But now I have take another fucking shower.” I say with mock anger. 

“This time you won’t have to jerk off by yourself.” He says with an arched eyebrow.

“You up for one more.” I say incredulously. He’s unbelievable that’s why I love him.

“Now sunshine you know the answer to that question.” He says with a duh look on his face. 

“Asshole.” I say getting up from the bed and going into the bathroom.

“Twat.” He says making his way to the shower door. 

We wash each other take turns shampooing each other. I think this so much better than what I imagined. Having taken care of our fucking needs we give each other hand jobs. We get out of the shower and dry ourselves off. I put on my sweats and my shirt back on and he puts his clothes back on. We sit on the couch I’m sitting on his lap and he has his arm around my waist. We’re watching some Christmas special. 

“So what brings you to this fair city.” I say before I realize how lame I sound. He laughs.

“What are you rehearsing a play.” He says tongue in cheek. I roll my eyes.

“No! Just answer the question.” I say trying to sound annoyed but I can’t because I know the answer I just want to hear it from him.

“Well it seems like there’s a shortage of hot fuckable guys this holiday season apparently all of the hot guys have gone north. So I decided to come to New York.” He says smirking. 

“Well I for one am Glad to have a very hot guy here. May there always be a shortage of fuckable guys if it means having a hot guy here with me.” I say caressing his face. 

“Well as long as those hot fuckable guys decide to someday return back home I’ll be just fine.” He says with a sad smile on his face. We both play this reading in between the lines game well. We kiss each other saying everything that we want to say into the kiss. 

“You know I love New York but I love you even more so me going back home isn’t a matter of if but a matter of when.” I say directly looking at him in the face. 

“You know I would never ask you to sacrifice your career for me.” He says looking at me.

“I know. I just feel like there’s a piece of me missing. I feel like an empty shell.” I say looking at him there’s a fleeting look of comprehension and empathy makes me wonder if he feels like that. 

“You’re telling me.” he mumbles. He’s avoiding looking at me but I hear him anyways when it comes to brian I have perfect hearing it’s how we’ve survived in this thing together. Sure there have been a few mistakes along the way but nobody is perfect especially not us. I grab his chin make him look into my eyes. 

“Can we not talk about this right now I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time in the next week to talk about it. If we even talk because you know I prefer fucking over talking it’s just so overrated.” He says with a touch of finality in his tone. I’ll drop the subject this once because I don't want to piss him off and ruin this wonderful day where my wish has come true. 

“So what’s in the bag.” I say curiously looking at it.

“Why don’t you see for yourself.” He says handing me the bag. I start opening the presents some of them are for him so I hand him his. 

“Debbie thought I would make a nice Santa decided that since I’m here minus well deliver your presents as well. As if I look like Santa. I don’t do fat.” He says sarcastically. 

“Well you can definitely be my Santa.” I say biting his lower lip.

“I’ll keep that in mind for later.” He says kissing me hard on the mouth. 

“I thought we could open our presents.” he says hesitantly. 

I smile and we start opening presents we save each other’s presents for last. I can’t help but stare in awe at the 18 kt bracelet with my name on it.

“Wow brian I really like it.” I say to him kissing him all over his face. He opens the gift I gave him. 

“Wow Justin I really like it.” He says sarcastically but smiles to take sting out of his comment.

“I’m glad you do asshole.” I say pouting a bit. Suddenly my stomach start growling and I realize that it’s 6 p.m. We both start laughing. He puts the watch on and it looks elegant on him but then again what doesn’t look elegant on him. 

“Why don’t we go out and eat I’m sure there’s something opened.” I say.

“It’s Christmas Day, Justin what self respecting restaurants are going to be open.” he says moving a strand of hair from my face. 

“Actually not all of them are closed. I know this restaurant owned by a Jewish owner that’s open all year long.” I say. I let the owner’s son blow me he was quite hot. 

“And just how do you the owner?” He says amused. If I didn’t know any better I’d think there was a touch of jealousy.

“Well you should be proud of me. I let the owner’s son blow me he was hot.” I say sexily.

“Well then I should definitely meet him.” He says. I roll my eyes leave it to him to actually want a trick on Christmas. 

We get dressed in more formal attire but still casual. We make our way to the restaurant. 

The waiter greets us and we follow him to our table. We place our orders. The restaurant has a very inviting atmosphere it has pictures from all over the world and every table has its own chandelier. As we eat our meals he starts playing footsie with me. Running his foot from my ankle to my inner thigh rubbing it there. 

“Brian!” I warn quietly. 

“What?” he says it with feigned innocence.

“We’re in a public restaurant.” I say it quietly. He keeps doing it anyways this time reaching my groin and I feel it harden even more and I have to suppress a moan. 

“It’s not good to suppress things, sunshine.” He says wickedly. He talking to me about suppressing things. HA. I’ve never known anybody who suppresses more feelings than him. I don’t say anything because I’m not about to start an argument in a public place. 

“Please stop torturing me like this, brian.” I say almost moaning because now he’s rubbing my crotch and I don’t know how long I’m going to last if he keeps up like this. But this doesn’t stop him because moves his chair so he’s sitting next to me. Bastard. So if you can’t beat ‘em join them. So I take off my sneaker and start rubbing his inner thigh and then rubbing his crotch. We’re both hard by now. 

“Who says I’m …. torturing you….you’re enjoying it….and making me want to fuck you ….in the process.” he says moaning almost as I rub harder and he does the same.

I snort cuz he’s always in the fucking mood. It’s amazing really at his age but that has never been a problem. 

“You always want to fuck brian.” I say trying regain control of my voice. 

“True but don’t you realize that you always look hot which makes my libido sky high.” He says with lust in his eyes. I blush but I don’t know if it’s because of the compliment (that is the closest thing brian will ever say to a compliment) or because his foot has been replaced by his hand and is now stroking me under napkin on my lap. 

“Brian, you’re finished eating right and so am I so then why don’t we leave.” I say logically.

“I haven’t gotten all of my protein.” He says as if it’s the most natural thing ever to giving your boyfriend a hand job in a public place. His hand starts stroking faster and I feel my breath getting fainter by the second. At this point I’m so focused on my own pleasure that I’ve given up on pleasuring him what can I say sometimes I’m selfish. 

“I’m almost finished getting all of my protein just one more and we’ll be on our way.” He says.

Thank goodness we’re in a secluded area because before I know I’m coming and he’s pulled into this deep amazing kiss and I’m moaning into his mouth while his hand cleans me up and then he breaks the kiss and I’m left panting while he put two of his fingers covered with my cum into his mouth.

“Mmmm. Yummy.” he says with a grin. 

“Can we go now so you can fuck me properly, please.” I say now that my breath has recovered .

He laughs and nods. We pay and leave the restaurant and since the restaurant is close to Rockefeller plaza and I planned on going there with or without him so I’ll ask him.

“Brian, I would like to go to Rockefeller plaza it’s not that far away.” I say with my sunshine smile. 

“Fine.” He says as we start walking towards Rockefeller plaza. 

The tree is spectacular. It’s so fucking tall and has thousands of lights and ornaments. I should’ve brought my sketch pad. People are everywhere looking at it admiring it. 

“Can we go now, it’s just a fucking tree.” he says annoyed. I roll my eyes at him. Leave it to him not to appreciate the beauty of nature but then again he’s not an artist so he doesn’t see the beauty in the tree. 

“Let’s go then.” I say and we start heading back to my apartment. 

 

We get to the apartment and we start to strip as if our lives depended on it. We’re kissing, caressing, touching each other we never make it to the bed we lay there on my carpet him on top of me and me writhing under him. He’s kissing me all over and my hands are roaming all over his perfect body his back, his chest, his abs then my mouth follows where my hands have been kissing him, licking him, biting him. He gets up to find a condom and lube. His cock now sheathed and lubed enters me slowly. He starts this slow rhythm. I look out the window and see that it’s snowing. It might be cold outside but here in this room in my body there burns a fire that nothing can quench. That fire is us this love that we’re making. He’s telling with his body what he can’t always say with words because even after his first I love you I know that it’s still hard for him to say it more often because there’s still that feeling of losing me. 

He picks up the pace a little his thrusts get faster and deeper. I’m moaning his name and nuzzle his neck kissing him there. He caresses my face moves my sweat slicked hair out of the way to gaze at me. I always love staring into his hazel eyes they can be so expressive when he can’t control his emotions but they can so cold also. His expression right now is one of love, lust, passion. I lick my dry lips and he captures my tongue into a wet hot deep kiss as he continues to go deeper inside of me. I grab my cock and start stroking myself at his pace. He hits my prostate and I groan. He does it again and again making me close my eyes to enjoy this wonderful torture that we call love. I feel my release start to pulse through my body and I start to stroke myself faster and he knowing this starts to fuck me harder and faster never missing my prostate and I come into my hand and chest. He thrust two more times before my ass surrounds his cock and comes with a loud grunt. 

He collapses on top of me. We’re both out of breath. That was the most amazing hot sex we’ve ever had. That has got to range in the top 5. 

“Wow. I think we just broke our own record of hot sex.” I say with a grin.

He grins back. “We should be in the Guinness book of world records the way we fuck.” He says proudly. 

“Come on let’s go to bed.” I say.

“Are you sure that thing will hold us both.” He says. 

“Yes! Now come on. You must be exhausted you haven’t slept since you arrived.” I say pulling towards the bed.

“You know that when I’m in bed I don’t usually sleep.” He says letting himself be pulled towards the bed which means he is tired. 

We both slip in. 

“I better not end up in the floor, Justin or you won’t be able to sit on your ass for a week after I’m through with it.” He says giving me an evil glare. 

I do have a tendency of tossing and turning so I smile sheepishly. I roll to my side so that my back is pressed against his chest and his arm is around my waist pulling me closer to him. 

*********************************************************

“I can’t believe you leave tomorrow.” He says trying not to show how much he’s going to miss me. I’m gonna miss him too even though I won’t come out openly tell him this but he knows this. I already told him that I love him that should be more than enough for right now. There is still some stuff that I can’t tell him.

“I can’t fucking believe it myself. I got to go back and see what mess kinnetic is in.” I say turning on my side in this small ass bed so I can face him. I had just fucked him into the mattress not more than five minutes ago.

“Kinnetic will be fine. Ted and Cynthia haven’t let you down yet.” He says always the optimist. 

“Come on we have to get off this bed sooner or later.” He says trying to get me off the bed but I’m resisting. He’s right though we’ve been in bed the better part of the day it’s almost noon and I’m sure his stomach is going start rumbling to feed it. And as if on cue sure enough it started growling. 

“Jesus your stomach must have a fucking clock to know when to start growling.” I say sarcastically. 

“No, asshole it’s just that all this fucking and sucking takes energy which mean I need to eat.” He says matter of factly. 

“Fine. Let’s go somewhere.” I say already getting of the bed and going to the bathroom. One. Two. Three. He stares at me before getting into the shower. 

In the shower we both wash each other, shampoo each other and I realize how much I’ve missed this little ritual we have of taking a shower together. It’s erotic watching how the water seeps into his pores or how his hair looks so sexy when it’s wet. I fondle his balls and lick my lips which makes him whimper. I slowly start to stroke him his pre cum is bubbling from the slit and I use it as a lubricant and begin to go faster. He puts his hand on my dick and matches my pace. We’re both grunting and moaning he's yelling my name and I’m closing eyes from the intense pleasure but just as soon I can feel his orgasm I lower myself in front of him and suck his dick until he’s coming in my mouth and is just enough to fuel my own orgasm which splashes his thighs and mine. I clean up my come from his thighs and very slowly pressing my body against his go up to kiss him sharing my come and his. He moans into the kiss his tongue lapping both my come and his. We finally break from the kiss both moaning and panting. Satisfied that I can still make him hard after all this time I smile smugly. He smiles too. We get out of the shower and dry ourselves off. We finish putting our clothes on and head out the door and head to this pizzeria he knows about.

“Jesus how much grease are you going to put into your body with all that pizza you’re eating.” I say shuddering. He laughs at my shuddering.

“ Well it’s better than that healthy shit you’re eating.” He says.

“Salad is not shit.” I counter. Eating a forkful of it and moaning at the deliciousness of it. 

“Yeah. Sure whatever, anyway I was kind of hoping we could go by the art gallery so I can show you my paintings. We haven’t really gone out much this week and since tomorrow’s your last day I wanted to show them to you.” He says taking a bite of the pizza. 

“That’s fine. You know how much I enjoy seeing my cock on display.” I say. He rolls his eyes at me. We finish eating pay our bill and go over to the art gallery. 

“Wow, Justin these are really impressive.” I say looking at his work. I don’t give out much compliments only when they are worth it and these are definitely worth it. He blushes because he know this.

“Thanks.” He says bashfully. 

We walk around the art gallery him critiquing other artists’ works and me just looking at the beauty of the other painting but none really compare to his cuz he’s just a fucking genius. 

We spend the rest of the afternoon walking around him showing me where he hangs out the places he likes to go when he feels too lonely. We decide to hit a club since it’ll be my last night here. By the time we go back to his apartment it is 7 p.m. . I still can’t believe he owns something. I’m really proud of how well he’s doing here and I hope he keeps it up like that. 

We both change and hit the club. It’s sort of like Babylon except bigger with the same hot guys. I feel the music gyrate and pulse through our bodies together we drift to our own little world grinding each other foreheads touching each other. It’s a sexual dance and I’m getting hard. Everyone is looking at us admiring us, jealous of how fucking hot we look. Sweat sheens my forehead and his. I kiss him devouring savoring his tantalizing mouth.

I ask him if there’s a backroom and he nods. We head back there and I feel like I’m back in the backroom of Babylon it looks the fucking same. I lean against a wall and watch him go down on me licking his mouth in anticipation of blowing me. I feel his mouth around my dick sucking, tongue twirling around the slit. He’s fucking amazing at this. At everything. At knowing me. At deciphering me. It’s astounding really. Only he drives me insane in a way I’ve never known before. I fucking love him for it. For us. I finally come into his mouth with a loud grunt. He zips up my pants. 

“Come on let’s go. I’m going to fuck you so hard it’ll feel like I haven’t left.” I say grinning. 

We go back to the apartment and make good on my promise and I fuck him with in inch of his life. Our moans and grunts fill this little apartment that he calls home now. He comes with a loud “Oh God Brian” and I come chanting his name. We lay breathlessly on the bed that I’ll be sleeping for the very last time. I won’t be seeing his face after tomorrow at least not in person sure I’ll get pictures and emails and phone calls but all of that is bullshit compared to seeing him in all his glorious splendor while I’m fucking him or blowing him or rimming him. It’s not the same fucking thing.

“Justin there’s something I want to give you.” I say seriously. 

“What?” He says watching me as I go about to retrieve the rings. I come back down on the bed and he sees them recognizing what they are.

“Don’t worry I’m not proposing again. It’s just since you keep missing me so much I thought maybe you’d like to have my ring so that when you think of me you won’t miss me as much.” I say looking at the rings. 

“Brian. It’s a great idea but I can’t accept it. I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time I returned home.” He says looking at me and I look into his eyes. I see determination, persistence. 

“Justin we’ve been over this. This is your home now.” I say with my own determination.

“No it’s not. This is a temporary place. A place where I don’t feel complete. You know these two weeks with you I have felt complete like I’m not missing a piece of something. My art won’t suffer cuz I’m not in New York but my heart will because I’m not with you.” He says convincingly. I just hope this doesn’t come back and bite us in the ass.

“Are you sure.” I say half-heartedly because truth of the matter is even though I want him to be a successful artist nothing would ever make me happier than taking him home with me because somehow I just can’t live without him.

“Yes. I’m sure.” he says.

“ You have to be really sure because I don’t want to have to go through letting you go because I’m not sure … that I could let you go.” I say honestly trying one last time dissuade him.

He smiles his sunshine smile. “Brian I’ve never been so sure of something in my life. New York is wonderful but it doesn’t mean anything if you’re not with the person you love.” He says hugging me. 

“Fine then it’s settled.” I say kissing him. 

“But I can’t leave yet. I have to notify the landlord first so he can find someone else to rent it and then I can be on my way home.” He says with an emphasis on the word home.

I can see that he yearns to be home to be with me. With the people he has come to love. With his mother and his sister. I can’t say I blame him. He knows what family love is. I never knew it and that’s why I’ve always wanted to get away from Pittsburgh and now that he has the chance he doesn’t want it. He wants me. He’s always wanted me. What can I say I’m hot. Everybody wants me. Only he can truly understand me not even Michael who has been my friend since we were teens understands me as well as he does. I love him for that. If it’s me that he wants than so be it cuz I want him just as fucking well. 

“Do you know how long it will take for the landlord to find a new tenant.” I ask looking at him.

“I don’t know hopefully a week tops.” He says shrugging.

“Fine then I’ll fly tomorrow and you’ll call me whenever you’re ready so I can book you a flight.” I say with a tone of finality. 

“Okay. Now come on. You have to go to sleep you have a flight tomorrow.” He says covering me with a blanket and resting his head on my chest. I smile knowing that my nights won’t be lonely anymore in a week or so and I drift off to sleep. 

*********************************************************  
A week later…

“I can’t believe I’m finally home.” I say to him smoking a cigarette he grabs it and smokes it and pass it to me. 

“I heard you the first hundred times.” He says with mock annoyance because I know that he’s happy I’m home too. 

“Shut up and kiss me.” I say turning to face him on the couch where he just blew me just not ten minutes since I had arrived to the loft. I guess he missed me really bad. 

Our mouth clash into each other my tongue sweeps his into his mouth reaching every spot that is hot and wet his tongue does the same. I like said before I can’t believe I’m finally home I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I finally feel complete. He is my home. My inspiration. My masterpiece. My art.

The end.


End file.
